That's right. Before I came here, I'm a sword tsukumogami. [He still identifies himself as a sword, even when his spiritual connection to his sword is no longer there. He pause, before he continues.]
... Unlike most other swords, I'm a replica of a famous sword, Yamanbagiri. So... I don't really like people looking at me.
[He looks away from Yue, mainly by instinct. He suspect that Yue wouldn't judge him, or start looking at him like those gazes... but he's still not over his complex.]
... Because when they look at me, I don't know if they're looking at me or Yamanbagiri. As far as I know, they look at me because I was made in his image.
[Ah. He actually knows how that feels, in a way. Yue looks...at him, rather than away like Yaman is doing, and sees nothing of any other Yamanbagiris.
Because he doesn't know any others, of course. Still, he looks, and thinks that incredibly useless fact.]
....I look like someone too, you know. Or I did, before I came here. [He brushes a hand against the feathers on his arm, awkwardly.] It didn't bother me as much, but...I sort of understand. Maybe.
[Yue nods as he says this, leaning a little closer and lowering his voice as if this is some sort of big secret. Which it might have been? Nobody had ever really mentioned it, back home.]
It's kind of hard to explain, but...I look just like a person from a very long time ago. Because some people really missed him, I think.
[His smile gets a little sad around the edges for a second, but no, he's fine, moving on.] He's sort of famous, too--back in Utsuwa, at least. So we're similar.
[Yamanbagiri leaned in forward, making it easier for Yue to whisper whatever he's about to say. Even if, for all they know, there's no one else around for now.
Hearing what Yue said made him quiet. To be honest, it's giving him mixed feelings. He never really find another sword he can really understand with about his status. None of them shared his circumstances, even if they don't really care. He does.
On the other hand, a part of him wants to deny it. He didn't want to believe there's someone else out there that might know what he's feeling and experiencing. But the logical side of him knows that odd isn't zero.]
Did those people... also compared you and that person?
[Yue tilts his head slightly at the question, an ambiguous answer, raising a hand up to where his mask would have been, if he'd still had it - but he doesn't, so the motion turns into him just sort of raking his fingers through his hair.
It feels empty, with nothing there. But he should be used to that by now, right?]
Mm...sometimes. I don't think I'm like him at all though, besides how I look.
[He didn't say anything at first, before he looks at Yue's face. Yamanbagiri slowly nods.]
... Yes. Even if we look like someone famous, it doesn't mean we are them.
[It's a simple statement, but one he keeps on saying to himself sometimes. He looks like he's about to say something and opens his mouth. He closes them for a moment, before he finally say something.]
The one good thing about this place is... no one knows us.
That's right. We have our own bodies, and our own lives. Just because we look like them doesn't mean we are them.
[It's the truth! He smiles at the werewolf, wondering what his life must have been like before. Everyone had tried to hide Yue's background from him, he remembers - maybe in the hopes that he wouldn't get as hung-up on it as Yamanbagiri seemed to be?]
You're the only Yamanbagiri I know, Kunihiro-san. And if the other one ever came here, he still wouldn't be Kunihiro-san. So I don't think you have to worry about that.
[It's not the first time he heard that. That he's the only Yamanbagiri anyone knows, but it still gives him a prickling warm feeling in his chest.]
Yeah.
[It didn't remove his lingering doubts completely. What if people drop him and replace him with the superior Yamanbagiri? But he keep such thoughts to himself.
A pause, as his fingers curl around his hood...]
... About earlier. [They already talked this much, and Yue seems to understand. So it's fine to say it, right?] I still don't like people looking at me. But...
[A hesitant pause, and then he continues.]
I'm trying to leave my hood down inside here. [Just at the Citadel. He's not ready for the public, and he doesn't know if it'll go that far.]
[Yue lets out a curious hum at that, watching as Yamanbagiri fiddles with his hood. Has he ever actually met a shy person outside of the werewolf in front of him? He can't think of any, at least.
Does this count as shy? He's not sure about that either.
He smiles, regardless.]
That's good. It must feel really stuffy wearing that hood all day, right? And I don't think anybody will give you weird looks or anything, here. [Not that he'd get weird looks outside the citadel either, outside of the usual reactions from humans. He'll keep that thought to himself, though.]
[Shy, anxious, a bundle of terrible self-esteem. Any of them would fit. Yamanbagiri wouldn't use "shy" for himself, at least.]
I'm used to it. My cloak is more light than stuffy. [His cloak might as well be a part of his body by this point, that taking it off at any time feels off to him.] But I don't know where I'm going with this, just that I want to try.
[He's just going to... tug his hood a bit and looks away.]
Maybe... [Well, he can imagine certain people being happy for him. It's a matter of Yamanbagiri accepting it.] Just as long no one's making a fuss about it.
I'm sure they won't! Probably. [Wait he shouldn't use "probably" here uh] They might not even notice at all--though you wear it so often I think they probably would, hehe.
[And with that, he cheerfully hops a little closer! Just a little.] Ah, since we're here though, do you want to do something together? We could try playing a game, or something.
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... Yes, that's right. But before I changed into a werewolf, who I... am before I came to this world. Do you know that?
[He wants to know if the others tell Yue about their nature.]
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......A sword?
[Like Yasusada!]
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That's right. Before I came here, I'm a sword tsukumogami. [He still identifies himself as a sword, even when his spiritual connection to his sword is no longer there. He pause, before he continues.]
... Unlike most other swords, I'm a replica of a famous sword, Yamanbagiri. So... I don't really like people looking at me.
[That's putting it very, very mildly and simply.]
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[That's like...a copy? So there were two Yamanbagiris?...Having two people--or swords--with the same name seems kind of strange, but.]
Why don't you like people looking at you?
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... Because when they look at me, I don't know if they're looking at me or Yamanbagiri. As far as I know, they look at me because I was made in his image.
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Because he doesn't know any others, of course. Still, he looks, and thinks that incredibly useless fact.]
....I look like someone too, you know. Or I did, before I came here. [He brushes a hand against the feathers on his arm, awkwardly.] It didn't bother me as much, but...I sort of understand. Maybe.
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Their circumstances might be different, but the idea that someone might understand even a little... He didn't know how to think about it.]
... Really?
[He's not disbelieving Yue's words, just... surprised and all.]
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[Yue nods as he says this, leaning a little closer and lowering his voice as if this is some sort of big secret. Which it might have been? Nobody had ever really mentioned it, back home.]
It's kind of hard to explain, but...I look just like a person from a very long time ago. Because some people really missed him, I think.
[His smile gets a little sad around the edges for a second, but no, he's fine, moving on.] He's sort of famous, too--back in Utsuwa, at least. So we're similar.
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Hearing what Yue said made him quiet. To be honest, it's giving him mixed feelings. He never really find another sword he can really understand with about his status. None of them shared his circumstances, even if they don't really care. He does.
On the other hand, a part of him wants to deny it. He didn't want to believe there's someone else out there that might know what he's feeling and experiencing. But the logical side of him knows that odd isn't zero.]
Did those people... also compared you and that person?
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It feels empty, with nothing there. But he should be used to that by now, right?]
Mm...sometimes. I don't think I'm like him at all though, besides how I look.
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... Yes. Even if we look like someone famous, it doesn't mean we are them.
[It's a simple statement, but one he keeps on saying to himself sometimes. He looks like he's about to say something and opens his mouth. He closes them for a moment, before he finally say something.]
The one good thing about this place is... no one knows us.
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[It's the truth! He smiles at the werewolf, wondering what his life must have been like before. Everyone had tried to hide Yue's background from him, he remembers - maybe in the hopes that he wouldn't get as hung-up on it as Yamanbagiri seemed to be?]
You're the only Yamanbagiri I know, Kunihiro-san. And if the other one ever came here, he still wouldn't be Kunihiro-san. So I don't think you have to worry about that.
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Yeah.
[It didn't remove his lingering doubts completely. What if people drop him and replace him with the superior Yamanbagiri? But he keep such thoughts to himself.
A pause, as his fingers curl around his hood...]
... About earlier. [They already talked this much, and Yue seems to understand. So it's fine to say it, right?] I still don't like people looking at me. But...
[A hesitant pause, and then he continues.]
I'm trying to leave my hood down inside here. [Just at the Citadel. He's not ready for the public, and he doesn't know if it'll go that far.]
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Does this count as shy? He's not sure about that either.
He smiles, regardless.]
That's good. It must feel really stuffy wearing that hood all day, right? And I don't think anybody will give you weird looks or anything, here. [Not that he'd get weird looks outside the citadel either, outside of the usual reactions from humans. He'll keep that thought to himself, though.]
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I'm used to it. My cloak is more light than stuffy. [His cloak might as well be a part of his body by this point, that taking it off at any time feels off to him.] But I don't know where I'm going with this, just that I want to try.
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But that's probably a bad idea, huh?]
Well...wherever you go with it, I'm glad I can see your ears now. I'm sure everyone else will be happy, too! [A pause.] For you, I mean.
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Maybe... [Well, he can imagine certain people being happy for him. It's a matter of Yamanbagiri accepting it.] Just as long no one's making a fuss about it.
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[And with that, he cheerfully hops a little closer! Just a little.] Ah, since we're here though, do you want to do something together? We could try playing a game, or something.
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[Of course they would. What's important is how they react to the sight, which makes him nervous.
But then, he blinks and slowly nods.]
I don't mind whatever we might do. I am free for the moment.
[Who knows how busy he'd get with the citadel and the cats around.]